A cat in a green monk's robe meditating on a mountain summit, above a rising chart of the nine stages of enlightenment.
Robinhood Chain · Meme · Mildly Enlightened

CATMONK

心の道程 · $CATMONK

He does not pump. He does not dump. He sits. Upward is inward, the summit is stillness — and the chart, ideally, also goes up.

Contract Not yet manifested
Buy on Pons Read the sutra
Scripture

The Four Noble Truths
of the Trenches

I

Trench life is suffering

You are down. You have always been down. Being down is simply the resting state of anyone who has ever opened a wallet.

II

Suffering has a cause

The cause is craving. Specifically: craving a 100x by Friday on a coin you discovered nine minutes ago.

III

Suffering can end

It ends the moment you close the app. Not sell — close. The difference between those two words is the entire religion.

IV

There is a path

The Buddha offered eight steps. We offer one: hodl. Fewer steps, which is arguably the more enlightened design.

Nirvana, n. — the state in which your bags no longer move you.

Enlightenment Progress (Index)

The Nine Steps

Marginalia

Sayings

Every coin promises a roadmap.

Ours is a cushion.

Enlightenment is just hodling

with better posture.

The swap took ten seconds.

The practice takes six months.

Green candle, red candle.

Same cat. Same mountain. Same posture.

He is not celebrating.

He was always going to be like this.

Congratulations — you did not sell today.

In our tradition, this counts as a miracle.

The Practice

How to Join the Sitting

Step 01

Bring a wallet

Any EVM wallet will do. Fund it, bridge to Robinhood Chain, and keep a little gas spare — enlightenment has fees.

Step 02

Sit at the launchpad

CATMONK is live on Pons. The button below opens the pool directly — check the contract address against the one at the top of this page before you swap.

Step 03

Then do nothing, at length

The swap takes ten seconds. The hard part is the six months afterward. Uniswap pools will follow. Your patience should too.

Buy on Pons Uniswap (soon)

// Always verify the contract address. Only the one shown on this page is CATMONK.

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Teachings

Koans for Holders

What is the sound of one hand aping?
One click. Then six months of silence.
If a candle wicks and no one is watching, does it hurt?
No. That is the whole lesson.
Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water, check the chart. And after?
Chop wood, carry water, check the chart. Calmly.
Master, when does it pump?
The question contains the obstacle.
Full Disclosure

The Ledger

Ticker
$CATMONK
Chain
Robinhood Chain
Supply
To be revealed at launch
Tax
0 / 0  — nothing to renounce
Liquidity
Burned at launch  — non-attachment, literalised
Contract
Pending
Utility
None. Stated plainly, in the tradition of honest monks.